So I went on a date, or two, or three. After that first one of getting back on the dating scene, they all start to blend together, unless they are AMAZING or AMAZINGLY bad.Surprisingly, the best date I have had has also been the cause of ridiculous 7th grade drama as well. A little over a week and a half ago, on a Friday, I ended up going out for extra beers with a guy from work, and the night turned into nothing less than magical. Good food, good conversation, and that type of clicking that makes you think "Wow, this might just be IT. This might just be the ONE!" And then, it all became unraveled like Weazer's sweater. Over the weekend, I got a text that the night was fun, as long as a question about whether the night was just alcohol induced or there was something more to it. The latter made my heart hurt. I was worried, and tried to call him. But no answer.
Monday came around, and since we work together (always a terrible idea for a dating pool, I know, I know!) I was unquestionably going to see him. But awkwardness? It was not so bad, other than the painful uncertainty I experienced all weekend to be answered by his facial expression where no troubles had been registered.
The week passed, and he had an emergency dental visit. I sent several texts and one or two calls, all the while starting to wonder if I was becoming that crazy obsessed girl. But the texts were mostly casual, without any need for reply....sense I had some how come to conclude coworker/dating-buddy is not so phone prone.
Until Thursday....when he randomly texts with "I can't do this. I am in a relationship". No clarification on what "this" is that he cannot do. And he told me there was nothing there....that his ex was like his sister. Now I am SO creeped ou! Enough with the texts, I responded with "Okay". I have to have some amount of respect for a guy that is A) in a relationship and B)has proven nonresponsive to my texts.
Then on Friday, he text me twice or thrice, with a couple calls. Since I was on a date, this all went unanswered. And Saturday, he text me at 7:30 am to ask if I wanted to go out for breakfast and antique shopping. This behavior threw me into fits of confusion. Never have I gotten such conflicting messages in so short a time frame. I text him back, reminding him he was in a relationship and asking that he lose my number, which finally he did. I mean, when I feel like I need to talk, I might as well page a brick wall, but whenever he gets the idea in his head, after blowing me off, I am supposed to rollover and play dead, because guess what?! He was finally paying attention to me.
Today, I got to work, with a post-it note on my keyboard. "Can we talk about this" it said, with a check box for "Yes" and one for "No." I thought it would be best to borrow from his favorite bag of behaviors and opted for no response. He sent me an email, asking the same thing. I told him I had nothing to say, but if he would leave me alone, I would spend 5 minutes after work allowing him to say whatever demanded so much attention. When work ended, he positively RAN out of work. Although I am not a mind reader, I would interpret this behavior to suggest that he wanted me to know he would not talk to me on my time table and to let me know he did not care that much to talk to me.
Yes, it is 7th grade all over. And he is almost 50! I always assumed an older man would be more mature, which has always proved my assumption wrong when put to the test. It seems there are just a few extra decades to reinforce immature and self-defeating behavior. I will hopefully never mistake age for mature again in dating. People talk about baggage. It seems some baggage is good: you know, the bare essentials for survival like life learning experiences, stuff that goes on a resume, and whatever else has the ability to open someone's eyes in the search for wisdom. That seems like a good set of luggage to have and embrace in a relationship, but after that, all the baggage is just so unessential.
But in my dating life, I now have a rough draft for a list of what I want in a man, based on what I most certainly do NOT want. SO over 7th grade....
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