What's next?

It has been almost two years, and I sent out with the goal of doing something worthwhile with my life based on that merit badge book mentioned in the first post...You Can Do It! (And not the one by Louis Hay, although I own that one too). I have since come to decide, in doing so, I take life far FAR too seriously. It's like I do not want to do anything unless I have a goal with end results, which are measurable. There is a problem with this, simply because along the way, the journey will reveal possibilities never even dreamed of.

This blog posting is going to go off as more of a rant. I just have to much to say and need to get it off my chest. Since no one reads it, that is quite okay. Besides, even this blog posting is prompted by a goal with measurable results. At the end of 2010, I decided to go back to school to get my Masters in English and become well-read. Two years of graduate school, and I am staring down my thesis project, which is seeded in this post. As for being well-read, I've read more, but my to-read list has exploded. So about that thesis project thing, I have a piece of creative nonfiction I want to write. In writing it, I will also have to write about writing it. Higher educations in the Humanities....metacognition is not enough. One must think and document the metacognition going on. A blog seems a perfect place to do so! And when I have to bundle up all my reflections, I will have a place to collect them. I intend to set up a different, more professional, looking blog to chronicle the chronicle of my life, but till then, this blog is a perfectly lovely place to track myself. I should probably describe my project. Nah, I am going to put that off for now. But as a hint, true to the roots of this blog, it involves sea turtles and Costa Rica.

SO instead, I will share another rumination. I was driving around, blasting the heat in my Jeep, considering fall. The whole cycle of life, death, and rebirth. October always takes me to meditations on this subject. I went to one of my favorite coffee shops and got a tuna sandwich on lettuce. Then I came home, lit the gas-fire place, and made some sugar plum tea. My cats insisted on having their own tuna, and now they are curled up like little insects, sleeping in front of the fire place.

October, like the autumn, is a very powerful  place for ruminations. The weather gets cold, bears go into hibernation, and we look within. What I find is that I have internalized the idea of the Law of Entropy a tad to well. My house is not as clean as I would like it to be, and the only reason is that I can barely understand why I should clean it if it will just get messy again. My car too. Why should I dust the dash board if it will just be dusty in a week again anyway? While some of this mind frame is natural, some of it is just complacency.  Just because all things move from new and fresh to decay, life to death, is that a reason to let things fall apart? Knowing I will someday die...is that a reason to have an only half-lived life?

This conversation was so much more interesting inside my head. Oh well, at least now I have it written down so I can revisit it, I guess.